A Soldier's Biggest Fear
What comes to mind when you hear "veteran"? Many people probably conjure up images of a selfless soldier throwing himself into battle for some greater purpose. A common reverence has built up in America for American war veterans, who are praised as courageous and selfless. In a new take on the relationship between the American soldier and bravery, Tim O'Brien challenges these notions in his novel The Things They Carried.
In the chapter "On the Rainy River," O'Brien describes a moral dilemma he faced after being drafted during the Vietnam War. While wrestling with his feelings on the war, O'Brien drives to the Canadian border. After about a week near the border, O'Brien decided to fight in Vietnam. But O'Brien didn't describe his decision to go to Vietnam as a logical choice that was the best decision for his future. On the contrary, he called his decision cowardly and wrong, going as far as to say, "I would go to the war - I would kill and maybe die - because I was embarrassed not to" (57). O'Brien feared the ridicule he would experience if he did not go to Vietnam more than he feared war itself. He preferred death to embarrassment. He didn't go because he felt it was the honorable choice or the better alternative to living in Canada; he went because he was much too afraid not to.
Different people had different reasons for going to Vietnam, but I have never heard someone say, "I was a coward. I went to war" (58). When I think of reasons to not dodge the draft I see two groups: group that felt accepting they were drafted and going to Vietnam was honorable, and another group who agreed to go because they did not want to go to Canada. O'Brien says all the draftees fall into the same group - cowards. People who were too scared of what their neighbors would say, what their friends would think. Ironically, the "cowards" feared being seen as cowards. They did not want people to think they were dishonorable or weak.
A person not wanting to be scorned by those around them is nothing unique, but the extent to which they feared this is astonishing. As O'Brien said "... I would kill and maybe die - because I was embarrassed not to" (57). Draftees dreaded shame more than death.
In the chapter "On the Rainy River," O'Brien describes a moral dilemma he faced after being drafted during the Vietnam War. While wrestling with his feelings on the war, O'Brien drives to the Canadian border. After about a week near the border, O'Brien decided to fight in Vietnam. But O'Brien didn't describe his decision to go to Vietnam as a logical choice that was the best decision for his future. On the contrary, he called his decision cowardly and wrong, going as far as to say, "I would go to the war - I would kill and maybe die - because I was embarrassed not to" (57). O'Brien feared the ridicule he would experience if he did not go to Vietnam more than he feared war itself. He preferred death to embarrassment. He didn't go because he felt it was the honorable choice or the better alternative to living in Canada; he went because he was much too afraid not to.
Different people had different reasons for going to Vietnam, but I have never heard someone say, "I was a coward. I went to war" (58). When I think of reasons to not dodge the draft I see two groups: group that felt accepting they were drafted and going to Vietnam was honorable, and another group who agreed to go because they did not want to go to Canada. O'Brien says all the draftees fall into the same group - cowards. People who were too scared of what their neighbors would say, what their friends would think. Ironically, the "cowards" feared being seen as cowards. They did not want people to think they were dishonorable or weak.
A person not wanting to be scorned by those around them is nothing unique, but the extent to which they feared this is astonishing. As O'Brien said "... I would kill and maybe die - because I was embarrassed not to" (57). Draftees dreaded shame more than death.
Mac you nailed it. The quote you use when O'Brien says," I would kill and maybe die - because I was embarrassed not to," fits so well into your post. How you describe the embarrassment that soldiers will face if they were to flee is so realistic, and then saying how he was a coward to go to war. You did good describing how the soldiers have to run away from their fears and go to war.
ReplyDeleteGreat observations, Mac! You effectively capture O’Brien’s sentiments about his time “on the rainy river.”
ReplyDeleteI think one of your strongest points was when you said, “He didn't go because he felt it was the honorable choice or the better alternative to living in Canada; he went because he was much too afraid not to.” The sentence structure is very concise and the use of a semicolon emphasizes O’Brien’s motives. It is interesting that you chose to use the world “honorable” to describe the choice O’Brien faces, because he highlights that going to war is not “moral” nor “honorable.”
Moral and factual ambiguity drives this novel. Once he makes his decision, O’Brien says it is the wrong one: “It had nothing to do with morality. Embarrassment, that's all it was” (57). This connects to the idea that there is no “moral” to war. I also found it interesting that O’Brien began the chapter by describing the moral reasons for and against going to war, and then ended with what the decision boils down to: “embarrassment.”